Life is a series of moments-proven yet once again-to myself more than anyone else..
Last Saturday I found out that I had passed the Civil Engineering Board exam..As I logged in my name into the Consumer affairs website, although I thought I was aware of what I was doing, to my surprise the instant that my license number popped up, I was in a state of pure ecstasy!
These sort of moments only come up once in a while. Finishing the marathon for the first time, walking the graduation line, winning the spelling Bee, or seeing your new born child, I would imagine would be considered moments that are so precious, priceless and irreplaceable.
Yet these moments appear to be bitter sweet in their own way..Since Saturday I've been on a natural high. Almost like the British say, "can't get my 'ead around it!"..The bitter portion comes from two observations: (1) that special feeling seems temporary, as the "high" wares off with time; and (2) the desire to repeat or more so, top that accomplishment becomes quite strong-the latter can lead to disappointment and in some instances feeling of failure.
The need to become "better" and the desire to satisfy self fulfillment is clearly seen when looking at famous characters who were at one point heart throbs, and then with age disapeared from the public eye-many of whom become drug addicts and in some cases lead to severe depression or suicide.
So now what? is the question I've been asking myself. The idea of finally getting around to this exam and passing it had consumed my mind for so long, it had become a part of my life. It almost feels like a mole that was sitting int he middle of my face, and now that it's gone, I almost don't recognize myself..! lol..don't get me wrong, I'm still loving this..but not used to it yet..
I guess what I'm trying to say, this was the one "monkey" on my back that I finally got rid of. And now I'm in search of what else I need to do to keep the feeling of having a "somewhere to go", another destination, goal...so I can start the journey..
weird!
Congratulations. I saw on your facebook page, something about your profession, as an engineer in Transportation. I guess these credentials are connected to your career.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to leave one last comment. I look forward to learning more about your participation in marathons. I take it you've run more than one, and also am thinking they're full marathons, 26.2.
I ran my first and only (so far) a few years ago. I think I was 57 or 56. It was a particularly hard one with head winds, brutally cold unexpected conditions (even hail) and very very cold rain. Got through it but it was miserable. Will look forward to your stories. Hope you have a marathon plan for the near future! good luck too